Bandh Thurs 29th September, Britsih Club in Revolt
CLUB WILL BE OPEN THIS THURSDAY...SO WARM UP YOUR ANTI-STRIKE TRANSPORT (ALSO KNOWN AS YOUR SHOES!) AND GET ALONG! I AM PLANNING TO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND WOULD LIKE TO SEE ALL AND EVERYBODY JOIN ME FOR A MEGA KNEES-UP. WE CAN MAKE MASSIVE PLANS FOR THE KRH3...AND THE GREAT THING IS... THAT IF WE DRINK ENOUGH GROG..... BY THE MORNING WE WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN THEM!!!!!
ON ON,
MOLESTER
Where to revolt:
The Molester and the KRH3 will of course be revolting against the Trade Unions who have declared a Bandh tomorrow, 29th September!
So see you'll there for the carrom opens too.
Venue : British Deputy High Commission
Ho Chi Minh Sarani
Kolkata
opp. Tata Centre and Golden Park
Come and get more details about a bash for the 3 Stooges or rather the 3 Amigos on 3rd October at 32 New Road...
Late Cummer Neela 9830014934
Bandh Band of Brothers:
The Bandh night at the British Club was open house. Only the Nash Hashers – the die hards, Francois, Late Cummer, Top Surd Chintu, Sex Guru Saw, DD and Babe Ruth made it in to lift our elbows with Molester as did Sexy Legs Chiru and his new band of friends including Andy from Puerto Rico who gets to teach me Spanish and salsa in return for carom lessons.
Return of Frozen Balls
Dear hashers,
I am happy to report that we are alive and kicking. Frozen Balls and Sweet Pee are coming down from Canada to Cal so the next Hash, post Pujas, will be called the Return of Frozen Balls and will be hared by Frozen Balls and his deputies
Monkey Boy Stalker Hashish Ashish was last heard from in Dharmsala - high in spirits but low on spirituality
Ouistiti sailor Rahul is in Honolulu making the most of Baywatch Hawaii
Pick Axe Pradeep in Peru
Delphi still in the UK and Sid returning end of this month.
Bean Town Billie and Double D Sarah in Amman, Jordan
Sex Guru Saw’s and Hash Flash Debaroop’s B’day falls on Monday 3rd October. Venue for bash to be determined… So be ready with gifts and party hats! Double D Sarah’s b’day also on 4th October so start sending courier pigeons and elephant and camel caravans to Amman!!!!
Those wanting to join us in pandal hopping during the Pujas, please call.
The carrom board reinstated at the British Club. But Thusrday happens to be a bandh day. will keep you'll posted if it will remain open in which case we'll hold some Revolting Carrom Opens...
Late Cummer Neela
9830014934
Return of Frozen Balls Hash on ice
The KRH3 Mismanagement hasn't come up with a hash in a while. The Return of Frozen Balls hash didn't happend as he went off to Nasik (sic). We need hares if we want to have a hash. Left over beers from Bean Town Billie and Double D Sarah's farewell and Sex Guru Saw's and Hash Flash Debaroop's b'day and Francois housewarming are in an ice box back at my place. The badminton court lines have been drawn on the lawns and there are chairs and tables to keep the beer! Moreover you can come and see a new Harriet, François’s fiancee or rather African bride as he did pay the bride price, at the South African village pandal in Bose Pukur, to have her. She's a10 foot tall big-breasted doll of Ndebele who will have to be called Belle though she's anything but according to François's HSBC banker Himanshu who saw her and feels that she needs immediate covering and veiling with a sari. So we could have an unveiling if some Hares will please step up!
Triathlon Hash at different watering holes
Grand Master: Sexy Legs Chiru
Hare: Late Cummer Neela
Drey: Munir, Nicolas
New Shoe: Anne
Hashers: Francois and Madhuri
Religious Adviser: Nayana
Trail: Oberoi Grand parking lot=> Sharma’s Dhaba drive in=> the mangrove garden of Nazar Ali lane => Tolly Indigo Room => The Hub Taj Bengal
Dear hashers,
Last Saturday, 3rd September, we never made it to North Calcutta but we went to a number of different watering holes. Chiru, Madhuri and I got into Munir’s car at the Oberoi Grand portico around 5:15 and it started drizzling so we didn’t head out to Kumartuli to see the clay idols.
We cruised down Park Street and past the new Subway sandwich place near the Café Coffee Day off Elgin Road but parking was an issue so we ended up sitting in the car and having hot cha in clay pots at Sharma’s Dhaba on Ballygunge Circular road while listening to Madhav Chari an incredible jazz pianist from Madras. Munir is planning a holiday alone in Samarkand in October and Madhuri told us of her holiday as a young girl in Afghanistan.
Nayana was watching documentaries at Max Mueller Bhavan (MMB) and we picked her up hoping to still go to the Chinese Bar that Madhuri, Nicolas and Anne were really keen to discover. We headed to Nicolas’s house (walking distance from MMB but a circular car route) where chauffeur Amir was waiting. Nicolas wasn’t up for a hash walk having twisted his ankle in a pothole walking home from work in the dark streets. Once in their lovely garden, we were too comfortable to go to a sleazy Chinese Bar in Tiretti Bazaar. We’ve decided to do that on a non rainy day when we would enjoy it more after a hash walk.
Anne made us Pastis a very popular aniseed drink of Marseille like the Greek ouzo. After downing our drinks and peanuts we then continued to Tollygunge Club after dropping Madhuri to a cab. In the depths of depression, brought on by the blues or jazz, I sat quietly in the back seat while Chiru and Munir talked about how Calcutta could use a good jazz bar. I was in a bit of a blue funk, as I’m missing my bosom buddies Bill & Sarah and Patricia who called me from Paris that afternoon.
At the Tolly Club we decided to make ourselves comfortable in the Indigo Room. Chiru in round neck T shirt had to be given Munir’s removable collar that he tucked into his neckline to bend the Club rules. Nicolas has now decided to adopt Munir’s fashion and tailor. Munir who has to use the Club facilities or pay for it nevertheless, treated us to a steady supply of drinks, chicken lollipops and fish fingers with hot kasundi mustard. I stuck to ginger beer on the rocks while Nayana had a small bottle of red wine. Chiru, a hasher through and through, had beer while the rest had whisky sodas.
Francois, who was ready to join us around 8 p.m., after his Saturday siesta and work out, was the only one who actually had a Hash walk, as I suggested he take the Metro from the Bengal Club to the Tolly Club. Damp and cursing a blue streak rather like a beardless Captain Haddock, he finally found us in the Indigo Room. Over rum, coke and soda, he joined in our intensely metaphysical discussions on ghosts, God, religion, Love, sex and orgasms. Sex Guru Saw and other hashers were missed as we talked of the erotic sculptures in Konark. Francois and I made plans to go to the libraries on Sunday and get him a copy of the Kama Sutra (choice of photographs or temple art) to courier as a wedding gift to his friends in France. RA Nayana RAved while quaffing beakerfulls of the warm south and the Tolly beef steak. She may have scared a few regular members away before finally coming to the conclusion that zen Buddhism was the best way. GM Chiru summed it up before we moved on as - the best orgasm is one you don’t have to work for. On our way to the parking lot the inebriated got on the animal merry go-rounds and there was more merrymaking as Munir got on the slide and wet his bottom.
We were then headed to The Taj to meet Top Model Nethra who happens to be Raji’s cousin in town from Bombay for a leather exports fashion show. Sitting on the bar stools at our usual Sunday morning breakfast spot, we ordered Nayana’s favourite duck with pasta, seafood risotto:-p and dessert from the menu by the new Genovese Chef at the Taj. Francois was finally able to light his Cuban cigar :-@ If Bill and Sarah were here we might have persuaded the small singers at the Junction Bar in their micro minis and Italian leather boots to join us…
Let’s catch up on Thursday at the Brit Club to discuss the next Hash.
On, on,
Late Cummer Neela
Chinese Proverbs
Dear Hashers,
I know you are all eagerly awaiting the Hash Trash but my personal and PC system have crashed. A week is not enough and you’ll have to give me some grace time to recover from the ups and down downs before I can write without a lump in my throat.
Bill and Sarah are in Washington and you can reach them on nelsmith1@yahoo.com
LJ and Ella have left for Manchester. Pradeep and Bonani have left for the Amazon, Rosie and Peter have left for Nepal. Patricia is enjoying her coffee and cigarettes in Paris, Delphi nearly became deaf at the Nottinghill Carnival. I’m left feeling like the Lone Ranger.
Chiru and I are organising a wild trail to North Calcutt a this Saturday. Hash or not, we’re doing a visit to Kumartuli to see the Clay Sculptures being made for Durga Puja followed by beer at an old Chinese Bar of North Calcutta.
Chiru asks everyone to be in front of The Grand at 4.30 p.m. to blaze a trail to the palaces and watering holes of north Calcutta.
Another hash may be organized on 10th September by the remaining revolutionaries, and a bash on 17th Sept which happens to be Biswakarma Puja.
To prepare you for this cultural Kumartuli and Chinese Tiretti Bazaar walk, I leave you with the following Chinese Proverbs.
On, on,
Late Cummer Neela 9830014934
Sexy Legs Chiru 9830779545
Munir 9830068647
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
