Kolkata Revolutionary Hash House Harriers

Ice Ice Baby

Ice Ice Baby Run # 41 July 24, 2004

Hares: Babe Ruth, Pants Down Pammi
Visiting Hasher: D/o Pants Down
Hash Horrors: Ella, Joss
Hashers: RA Bean Town, Drey Sarah, Late Cummer, Duck Suck Carl, DD Willy Wanker Shaun, Avinash,
Virgins: Zoria, Aaron, Callum

On a wet monsoon Saturday, the KRH3 met in Babe Ruth’s secret garden in Alipore. I arrived just in time to greet Willy Wanker and kids, Joss & Ella, or Hash Horrors as all pre-teen hashers are called, and prevent them from being shunted off. A quick change into hash gear and some frantic phone calls to Fiddler, Lucky & the boys ascertained that this hash was definitely going to remain a family hash. We were introduced to Shaun’s strapping young lads, Callum & Aaron, all in white and looking like young Beckhams in the making. The Kenworthy clan, Pants Down’s wife & daughter, visiting hasher of more than 100 runs in the Middle East, all came to break the ice with us die hard hashers. Zoria was there for her first KRH3 trail. Even DD managed to make it to the Hash in his red T shirt and red shoes. But unfortunately without camera to take all the family portraits! Babe Ruth was made to change into Hash T-shirt after she & Pants Down had laid the trail. Finally all the hashers were ready to head out the gate, to check out beautiful buildings and short cuts.

There were shreddies all along the streets, and to calls of “on on”, “shreddie”, the brat pack moved down Burdwan Road, through the Port Trust area, down Alipore Road and back. Shaun and his boys were front running bastards and kept streaking off into the distance. Pants Down as Hare n Wanker, kept track of his pack of hounds shepherding us onto the right trails. Ella & Joss wearing their T shirts with “we’ll take sports as far as you can go” on their backs kept right up with us all the way and even ran a bit! Crossing Burdwan Road, we circled back in Babe Ruth’s back garden. The block of ice was placed and the hares given a good icing for a wet behind the ears run! While Babe Ruth & Pammi, Duck Suck & I, and Pants Down’s daughter got iced, the others prolonged our agony by telling long-winded tales. With a little prompting from Shaun, Callum & Aaron narrated spine-chilling rugby proctology tales, and Pants Down short-changed us with tales of his daughter’s childhood to boos of “boring”! The Hash Horrors Joss & Ella were given veggie beers in the circle as the KRH3’s youngest hashers! While my derriere was going numb on the ice, Ella may have nipped a few swigs from my beer bottle, but this particular charge may be baseless. Poor Zoria got bitten by mosquitoes and therefore would have to scratch her memory to remember anything but her bites. The rest of us dead asses with frozen bottoms got flogged with a leather whip, more like a fly swatter, that Babe Ruth brought out to improve our circulation after the circle. It was decided that our GM Molester would do the next hash on 21st August, 2004. - Late Cummer Neela

posted by Calcutta Hash Walks @ 10:57 am 0 comments

Chinese Torture

Run No. 40 July 10, 2004 Hares: Babe Ruth, Duck Suck Carl Hashers: RA Bean Town, Drey Sarah, Mexican Girl Alicita, Late Cummer, Hemorrhoid, Lickin’ Lucky, Manish, Afroz, Kawal, Saw and Madhuri New shoe: Adarsh Late comer: Pammi The hashers met in front of ITC Sonar Bangla Sheraton Towers with the Hash Flag, Wanker Hat but no horn. The theme in keeping with the post Puri recce was of course swimwear and hare Babe Ruth was wearing her Shocking Pink Brazilian Bikini over flesh coloured clothes and shades without one of the lenses. Hare Duck Suck had on his goggles on his forehead below his cap. Drey Sarah did the trail with her bathing suit under her T shirt and by the end we were wet even though we didn’t reach the ITC pool. Latecummer had taken shades and swimming goggles that she then handed over to Kawal as he hadn’t read the mail and didn’t come prepared. This was Mexican Girl Alicita, Hash Cash and Hash Flash’s last trail in her favourite haunt in Calcutta – China Town aka Tangra. Saw was there to take over responsibility as Hash Flash. Alicita took snaps of us gathered on the driveway of ITC while we waited for Madhuri to arrive. Hemorrhoid has come back from his stint in Finland and was made to wear the Wanker Hat. Bill said he’s the prettiest wanker we’ve ever had on the hash. KRH3 will be strong contenders this year for Miss Nash Hash 2004. We followed the trail leading towards Tangra, along the main road and then into the fields keeping to the right according to the instructions of our hare. We passed some extremely odiferous sludge and then reached the equally smelly back alleys behind the Chinese restaurants of China town. The old grandmothers in their pajama suits were sitting outside their houses watching us pass by. Wanker Hemorrhoid, who was enjoying the long hair down his back and kept flicking his hair, then started feeling the heat. There was a false trail by the rubbish mountain and Saw carrying the Hash Flag was asked to either climb it or stop to take a picture. The Hares had very soon run out of shredded paper so we were basically following Duck Suck out of China Town. The trail was as long as the Great Wall of China (we passed the restaurant of that name) along tall iron gates of the houses, the markets and the tanneries. The circle was beside a giant pothole. Madhuri lost the sole of her shoe so she and Babe Ruth took a rickshaw back to ITC. Kawal did the same, knowing how large the Tangra area is, and though they tempted us, Alice and I, struggling along at the end, didn’t give in until there were no more witnesses and then hopped on to a van – that’s an open air three wheeler carriage where you sit on planks. We passed another strange 4 wheeler - a Monster suck and spray unit. Thanking the cyclist profusely we trudged back to the ITC after our vantastic advanture. In the absence of GM Molester on his holiday, RA Bean Town called the circle on the back lawn near the parking lot where some Delegates were being welcomed by a banner. Looking nothing like Delegates, we stomped over and made ourselves comfortable on a patch of green. The ITC hotel people were present to look after us; food, beer and cold drinks had been set up against the wall. Sarah accepted responsibility for being Hash Cash & Drey as Alicita is leaving the KRH3 for the Singapore Slingers or whatever Singapore Hashers call themselves. Everyone had time in the circle. The Hares got Down Downs for the worst run ever. Their excuse was that they had to stop and have lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Later we heard the full story of how they enjoyed a Chinese meal and then how the restaurant manager Neville very hospitably took them down the road leading back to the ITC. Madhuri got a down down for being late and for losing her sole! But Pammi really got the latecomer down down as he’d walked in just in time for our circle. The new comer Adarsh got a Down Down and so did doc Hemorrhoid who got to pick the next Wanker with a little yanking from RA Bill re longhaired men who prefer to play tennis and come late for the hash. Alicita was given a farewell down down by RA Bean Town Billie for embezzling hash funds, taking unfocussed pictures, not keeping track of hash runs or keeping pace with the hashers! On on Alicita! We stayed in the parking lot sitting till 7p.m. having beers, and snacks laid on by the ITC, chatting with Harsh, Shayanti & co. and discussing the Nash Hash logo and the surprises for the goody bag!!

posted by Calcutta Hash Walks @ 10:37 am 0 comments