Saturday, May 21, 2005

Wetlands Jinxed Hash

The Hash was totally jinxed ! No one knew for certain that the Hash run was planned for May 21 for the Wetlands and Nipples (Asish) better known as the Stalker was to be haring. None of us got the mail from Duck Suck saying it was at ITC Sonar Bangla until the mail was sent on Saturday morning. After frantic smses from the Stalker Ashish and from yours truly, Late Cummer, 5 of us did turn up at the gates of ITC Sheraton.

There was the French contingent– cancan dancing Patricia and Nicolas of the French Connection whom Bill had managed to convince to come on Thursday at the British Club. Ashish had convinced his Chaddi (Indian briefs (remember those strange garments at the Nash Hash)Buddy Nitin who had also joined us on Thursday at the British Club to come hare with him as Virgin Hasher probably after some of that Jamaican Rum and Ginger Beer cocktail smuggled in by Max for her farewell… Nicolas and Nitin were the only two waiting patiently for the rest of us namely Late Cummer Neela, with Pat getting a lift there with Willy Wanker Shaun from The Park. We waited till about 4:15 for other hashers like Lucky and the Boys who sent no news whether they were coming or not. Pants Down Pammi had already said he couldn’t come and neither could Chintu and Christyne who were auditioning (for Mira Nair’s film Namesake being shot in Calcutta) after being chosen at The British Club, venue for the casting, the previous Thursday. Those two were paid Rs.1000 each for strutting their stuff the next morning, Sunday. Topsurd Chintu gets his name in the credits as Anil, the hot dancer at the Asian underground nightclub in America for coming on on on to another hot babe on the dance floor. Watch out Sarah, he’ll be asking for a visa next to go to Hollywood, well actually to Hawaii for his honeymoon next year...

Well to come back to the surly gates of ITC where Patricia was bemoaning the fact that you can’t smoke in public places and cafes in India and that she can rarely enjoy a cigarette with a good cup of coffee so essential to the bien etre of the French, I wondered whether we had to send smoke signals to the Hares in the Wetlands as there was no network out there and we weren’t clear where we had to go to meet them.

There’s a long stretch of road to the left of the marble sheds and we seemed to be going down the road on on on for miles while keeping a look out for the lost hares. By then Shaun and I were getting fed up with Stalker Ashish as the line kept getting cut off and we needed to know whether we’d passed his Bridge Over the River Kya? The convoy of 3 cars decided to turn back because Shaun and I both remembered passing a black and white bridge that was being mentioned (of course it wasn’t black and white- that was the wooden footbridge) and Ashish, Carl and Siddiqui had to drive back in Stalker’s red car in order to find us. The attachment is what we must have looked like and it’s what I’d have liked to do to the Stalker.

By then it was nearly quarter to five and we decided that with Ashish there the Hash was jinxed. We decided not to have the hash but to have a beer and keep the trail for the next Saturday. We went back to the point where the hash was to start and I would have never found it even though I’ve been to the wetlands before. Then Ashish decided that the circle wasn’t at the starting point and we had to double back to a clearing where there was a litter of pigs and form a circle with the cars. An icebox full of beer, cold drinks and ice was in Ashish’s car. We all quenched our thirst then and decided that the hash run would be better left for another day in case the grey skies were an indication of rain. It’s lucky we didn’t set off on a trail cos we would have been wandering around the wetlands literally and figuratively in the dark!

Now I hear that Bean Town, Molester and co. are off to phuket for a junket. So they may still miss the Hash next Saturday. Can’t postpone it till the Saturday after as Stalker’s brain cells won’t remember the trail after two weeks.

So see you there this Saturday 28th May, 2005 at 4 p.m. sharp at the ITC gate and everyone in town better be there! If you haven’t already sent in your Rs.5000 for the Nash Hash in Mysore better do so as it’s the last Nash Hash we’ll have with the terrible trio Bill, Sarah and Molester!! And if you still don’t have a clue This year Nash Hash will occur at Mysore, courtesy of Bangalore HHH. Details available at this link:

www.bangalorehash.com/subpages/nash_hash.html

On on on,
Late Cummer Neela

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